To Hesham Arfrah Aljadaani

 

Cathy’s Story.
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I thought I would finally share my story as I am a single mom here in Cape Breton nova scotia where many other females have fallen for many Saudi men. It was over two years ago now that I started to date a what I thought was a very sweet man I was head over heels for him, he made me laugh, he made me feel special everything a girl wants right? Early on the controlling started but you just push it aside because you don’t think anything of it because you are soo in love with this man. He hated being told “No” and anytime we had a fight it was always my fault regardless if I started the fight or not. He had to have all my passwords for any accounts I had, he checked my cell phone but, when I asked him if I could see or check his accounts he told me no and that he had nothing to hide like I did. After dating for some time I became pregnant instantly he told me to get an abortion. I was twenty-four and turned twenty-five while pregnant so I did not think being pregnant at this age was a bad thing and I also thought he will NEVER leave me. Well things got worse with the controlling and manipulating. I barely had any friends or freedom. The whole time I was pregnant he went out to the bar and drank, and did whatever he wanted when he wanted. Me on the other hand I had to ask for permission and even then that was a fight. I had to text him all day all the time if even if i was with my family. If we were going anywhere such as to a store or walmart for example I had to text him when I left, on the way, when I got there and while I was there. If I did not answer him right away he would ask what I am doing. I stayed with him thinking things are going to get better when the baby comes. That we will be that perfect happy family. Even now when I look back he was not really involved with my pregnancy. He once told me I should not drink a lot of milk because it will make me fat while I was pregnant and that I should also be a certain weight after I have the baby. Also while pregnant I was not allowed to go anywhere with him such as to a movie, to the mall, grocery store because he was afraid someone may see him and find out I am pregnant and tell the Saudi bureau on him. He was always afraid of what people may say or what people will say or think because he got a Canadian girl pregnant. He told me if anyone asks me who the father of my child is he told me to lie about it which I told him I would not do. On one occasion we went to a movie where he asked me to walk in at a separate time in case someone sees us together. He told any friends he went to university with that I went to Toronto and that we aren’t together anymore. Anyway, now I do have a two year old son who I love with all my heart. He is the apple of my eye the reason I wake up every day. Matteo was born july 7th, 2011 my water broke and I did not have him until five days later. His father was there for the birth, although he fought with me almost every day at the hospital or made me cry which was a daily thing. He loved to make me feel bad, cry I think it made him feel better. Now we have our son and all I can think is wow now we have our perfect family we can be happy and have our life together. After two days or so in the hospital we finally got to go home to our new apartment where my water broke while we paid damage deposit. It was almost surreal. The first day we arrive home he approaches me in the washroom and tells me he has to tell me something. He continues to tell me that he cheated on me with a girl one night while he was out while I was

pregnant and that she has tried to find him and tell him because she thinks he is the father. Me I am absolutely in shock right now I have just arrived home from the hospital with a new baby. I then slap him across the face because I was just torn I have never had a man cheat on me or even tell me this to my face like we have a child together how can you do this to me. After crying the whole entire day and, not leaving him at the apartment alone that day because it was the first day getting released from the hospital with my new born child. I get into bed for the night then he says it was all a lie and I look at him thinking what? What are you talking about… so he then says I lied about this girl I wasn’t with her and I just want to go home? I then didn’t know what to say or what to do because I was like well now I can’t even trust you so I don’t even know if anything that comes out of your mouth is true. After sitting crying and begging him to stay and help with my our new born son, just moving and getting settled into a new apartment he goes to the travel agent and books a ticket to go home. Our son was a few weeks old when Hesham Arfah Aljadaani left Sydney, Nova Scotia and never returned. Since then I have lost all contact with him. I do have many pictures of him. I have his parents name Arfah and hamdi, they live in Jeddah, his grandparents names where Fatima, Abdal aziz, and slmi and hamdin. He has one other brother(mohammed) who is married and has two children who are female named tolen, and wateen. He also has twin sisters. I do remember some of their names Abar, Amani (also I don’t know about the spelling). Also one of his sisters is divorced and she owns a business where she does decorating for weddings in Saudi Arabia. Mohammed his brother has come to Canada twice that I know of now and has lived in Toronto with his wife and two children to attend school to improve their English. His wife already knows English because she studied it in Saudi Arabia. So in total he has 4 sisters two who are twins, and one brother. Hesham also signed my son’s birth certificate at the hospital, he threatened me so many times when he went home that he would come back and take my son from me. It was something he did almost every day and makes me cry because he knew it would scare me. His father was a teacher at the school he attended which is DAR ALTEBEH in 2006 he graduated from this school. I did get contact with his family about a month ago on an app on my phone and it was his mother and sister but then they wouldn’t answer the phone again. I have tried all his friends here that hung out with him all the time but none of them have contact with him anymore. I do know he had me blocked on Facebook and I have tried to find him it’s just hard to find someone not in this country. The only thing I want is closure, why leave your son behind I just don’t understand how you can go away, never come back and live your live without having that heavy heart. I could never live knowing I have a child out there growing and in this world without trying to see them and experience everything in their life. I guess that’s a man thing they can just walk away from their child without it ever bothering them.

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9 Comments

9 thoughts on “To Hesham Arfrah Aljadaani

  1. Poutine Lover

    Hi!! Your story hit a nerve because this is exactly what happened to me from my Ex. Actually our sons are a month apart and your little boy is so cute!! My advice is that you shud consider yourself lucky this ass-hat is gone. My son’s father disappeared from our lives a month after he was born, blocked me on FB, ignored my emails and cut all contact. I used to pray and beg for him to come back and see his son.

    This April he decided that he wanted to “be a father” but while asking about his absence and why he ignored us — guess what he said — “my life was hard in the Saudi army”. LooooooL hahahaha he thought I was too stupid that I didn’t know he had been to India, Malaysia and Las Vegas partying & getting diseases!! Now I see the brighter side of things; we are better off without him.

    My son is 2 years old and has a REAL man to look up to & call “baba”. He stepped up and did right by us, and takes care of my son like his own. As for my ex… He harasses me and tells me I’m a bad person and tries to intimidate me. Sometimes I wish he would drop off the face of the earth :-b

    Please stay strong, forget about this loser and find a good man who will take care of you. I am sorry for the pain, uncertainty & sadness that you had and will endure but over time it gets easier. Trust me 😉

  2. toto

    Saudi men pleas stop acting like a man whore gosh our repetition been ruined what the fuck is wrong with men

  3. Mandre

    salam Cathy, you made me cried while i was reading your story but most of all when i saw the face of Matteo, he is so adorable and he deserves the best in this life. Allah has grant him a big blessing that is having you as his mom. I know it is so hard to go through all this but Allah will never leave us or our kids alone. I do know what it feels to be left and had someone that made you suffers, i know what it feels to wake up at night crying because you don’t understand this behavior and thinking what you would say to your kid when he comes to ask about his dad, i do know what it feels to feel helpless by trying to find these men’s, and i do feel what is to love your son above ANYTHING!

    All of us are fighting different battles, my son’s is one year and almost 9 months, and there are not nights where i don’t think how i will do to solve his problem before he grows up and suffers, i want to protect him for the pain i felt once, i want my son to be happy and loved, is all we want for our precious kids. However, every day am praying for Sulaiman’s forgiveness, and am praying to Allah to grant justice to our son’s and daughters. I know we will make it! Don’t lose faith, and please if you ever need to talk or needs anything let me know, am here for you (mandrechang.sami@gmail.com)

    Keep strong sister, and keep fighting for Matteo’s rights. I’m sure Allah will not abandon our kids, and will give strength to us to keep raising his as a better men than their parents were, and will fill our life with joy, love, and success the one that their parents will never feel because they will always carry in their heart what they have done to their own blood.

  4. A mother without her son

    Habibiti
    Congratulations for your precious child. Believe me when I tell you its better that you are the guardian of your child. A boys who can’t grow up and be a Father to a child has no place demanding.
    Stay strong and keep a good support system around you. Your lil boy is blessed to have u as much as u are him.
    Hugs xx

  5. Hilary

    And this little boy is my godson that I am very proud of. Him and my son, daughter and stepson are amount the cutest little kids I’ve ever seen. Matteo has lots of ppl who love him. Sure it would be really nice if he could have a relationship with his biological dad. But he’s not a real dad the way he has treated him. I’m so glad I get to see this little boy grow up and that I get to share his special birthdays and things with him. I love you so much Matteo buddy. “Auntie’s” little man

  6. Edith

    it just seems sooooo wrong for a man to just walk away from something that they helped give life to… bless your heart your doing whats best for your little one by just moving on, and if he ever does come back, tell him to stick it where the sun don’t shine cause darlin’ your a Canadian girl, a Bluenoser and a proud Caper! Don’t let anyone come between yous 🙂

  7. JJ

    hi Cathy,
    I am sorry about what happened to you.. at least you are lucky that you have a full custody not like Mandre.. I think Saudi guys deserve to be exposed like that and more because they will keep running a way.. you should publish more pictures of him.. teach him a lesson..

    For Saudi Children Left Behind: THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for helping these women. YOU made a difference not just in their lives, but also in their children’s lives. These children will grow up to see what you have done for them and I am sure you will receive lots of THANK YOU cards 🙂

  8. heavenly flower

    I am interesting to know…what happen to this story now?

    did they catch this faggot?

  9. Aladdin

    I might be able to help , I am from jeddah, Saudi Arabia. If you still have his phone number or Facebook account please let me know. Contact is : goldenalaa@msn.com
    God bless

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