Angela’s letter to her father Abdulla Al-Carnie

My name is Angela Weeks and I am a 26 year old Arab-American from Ventura, CA. I was born in 1986, the same year my father left to go back to Saudi Arabia. I am now on a venture to find him. My dad’s name is Abdulla Al-Carnie. He lived in Camarillo, CA in the early 1980’s and left in 1986. My mother’s name is Sherry Weeks. They met while he was here and started a relationship together. My dad was very honest with my mom and told her that he had to go back to Saudi Arabia because of his military obligation. He shared with her certain consequences he would have to endure if he did not return. My mother and Abdulla tried to make an appointment with the DA in order to explore options for my father to stay in country. The day of their appointment, my mom showed up…but my dad never did. My mom thinks he was forced to return to the Kingdom without saying goodbye.
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My mother states, “After I was pregnant with you, we tried everything we could to stop him from getting taken. We had to make an appointment with the da so they would not contact his commander. However, he did not show up to the appointment;  then the da called his commander, although I tried to keep them from doing this. Since he did not show up, I went over to his apartment to look for him and he was gone. His things were gone. I asked the people at the apartment where he was and they said that some people came and took him away. The last time I heard from him was two weeks before you were born when he called and said that he loved me and wished me a happy life. I said you make it sound like I am never going to see you again and all he said was I would see him again and that he loved me.   I was now a women with a broken heart and an empty place without your dad.”
I am not sure what the exact circumstances were, but I know that my mother still to this day regards him as the kindest most honorable man she has ever met.
The only other thing I know about my dad was that he was going to school in Camarillo for Mechanical Engineering and that he was from Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. My mom also says he was in the Saudi Arabian Army at the time he lived in Camarillo. Now, this might mean he was actually in the service already… or that he still owed time to the Army upon his return. I am unsure.
 photo 2 (5)
Sadly, my mom is very sick and I was their only child. Soon, I will be alone. That is why I have decided to reach out and try and find my father. I hope that I have brothers and sisters out there, and I hope they are open and willing to meet me. I am not in search of apologies, he owes me none. I am not in search of money, I have my own. I just want to know what happened, to fill a void, a burning question that has been left unanswered for 26 years. What happened to him?
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15 thoughts on “Angela’s letter to her father Abdulla Al-Carnie

  1. Ali

    I am not really sure, but you have to let it go. If he really wants to meet you, he would had made the efforts. You seems that you know nothing about your father, except for his name, assuming it is his true name and his 25 years old picture. Believe me, true men don’t leave their kids behind. He is not worth your time or your efforts. You mentioned that he does not owe you anything. You are wrong, he owes you his life. Just let it go !!!

    • In one breath you say he owes her his life and in the next you say just let it go may I ask who are you to tell her to let go the notion of just knowing her father? Do you have any idea what it is like to grow up without knowing crap about who your father really is? She should never ever ever ever let this go it is her right to know who the hell he is even if he turns out to be just another saudi dead beat dad who lied his but off to get away with abandoning his daughter.

  2. xax

    I think you misspelled your last name, it suppose to be written as Al-Garni, in arabic (القرني). It is belong to a trib in south of Saudi, but they are scattered around the country.
    Anyway, since he is in the army, this would be easy to track. But if he was not married your mother before you was born, then unfortunately you can not call after him nor inherit him.
    I would agree with previous comment from Ali, jest let it go, and focus in your religion and your self.
    God bless you.

  3. Angela Weeks

    I let it go for 26 years. I have chosen to seek out more information now. Thank you for your care and words of advice though.
    For the person who informed me of the proper spelling of his name, thank you!! Very helpful 🙂

    Well wishes to you all.

    • wanda hey

      It is all is the translation at the time they come to a foreign country. For the person saying he could have used a fake name, well, no one would get an education under a fake name. Reality check. Good luck in finding your father or some members of his family.

    • Ibrahim

      Actually the name is spelled AlQarni not Al-Garni. It’s pronounced AlGarni in the Saudi Arabic accent but it’s not how it’s. I hope you all the best. I really hope that things worked out by now as it has been over a year.

  4. I wish you best of luck sister.. you deserve it.

  5. Left

    AC let’s not get carried away and generalize all ARABS as careless. As we know there are Arabs from many different countries as well as careless people from even more. I don’t think it’s about making excuses I think they are trying to keep Angela from wasting her time based on all the other stories posted here.
    Angela you have every right to search for him but I think sometimes we feel like we want to protect new posters with new stories because a lot of us have not been successful. Sometimes the dream and the image of the beautiful man your mom raised you to believe he is or was may be better to hold onto rather than the truth. My mom did that to me too I thought my dad was amazing and when I met him and he just slammed the proverbial “door” in my face I was shocked and hurt and missed the “dream dad” I used to love and wonder about.
    I live in the same country and 20 minutes drive from my father’s house. I have seen him twice by accident in the last 12 years. I have brothers and sisters and aunts and uncles and the whole family know about me. None of them have ever tried to contact me or have anything to do with me. I am waiting for the day he dies so I can attend his funeral. They all know who I am and they can not tell me to leave a funeral. I will sit there. I will stand in the line and take azza for him and no one will say anything. I dare them to. I will have the last stand Inshallah if ALLAH grants it to me.
    You may have a different situation. We can’t say they are all the same. Maybe he really did lose contact. Just prepare for the worst, read the other stories so you get and idea of what could happen and then hope for the best. Good Luck In Your Search! God Bless!

    • AC

      Left-I didnt generalize all arabs nor do I mean to stigmatize all of them, I mentioned those who are ‘careless’ because let’s face it…there are large numbers out there that are and from the data and research, not just opinion, many of these repeat offenders come from the gulf countries the Number 1 offender in that region being Saudi Arabia. I personally know many Saudis and have observed their behavior with illigitmacy and they cloak themselves with the laws in their country not to take any responsibility for the mess they themselves created. Many of the imprints of the man made laws that they uphold regarding the treatment of illigitimate children are stern towards the man or woman whether he was adulterous or had relations outside of marriage but then their families and acquaintances and even their government comes to their aid and cover up the “shame” pretending as if nothing happened and the child has no existence. Does this seem AT ALL hypocritical to anyone besides myself? Id have more respect for these culprits if they just came out and told the truth about how they enjoy playing around without consequences instead of lying about how pious and honorable they are when theyre anything but!
      I truly hope your father reaches out to you Angela, you are worth it and hopefully he will do the Honorable thing and want to meet or talk to you. All my prayers for a great outcome for you and others this situation Alhamdullilah.

  6. Zoe

    Thankyou for writing this. I’m so similar to you! Born in 1986 to a Saudi father in the military, never to be seen again! I pray it all goes well, I’m desperate to find my dad but no luck. There’s just a space you can’t fill, no matter what anyone says xx

  7. Moataz

    I recommend you to write his full name if you know it because there are many people in saudi who share the same first and last name as your father name. keep hope alive and wish you all the best in your life.

  8. 3ta

    Moataz, there are a lot of people in Saudi Arabia are carrying this name (Abdullah AlGarni). Angela, I have read your story, I am so sad that you just grow up with out even who is your father, I wish you best, and I hope your mother is good.

  9. Edriss

    easy solved. find out what school exactly and go back to their student recored in the related department and check your father name in the graduated student list from that period ( the two years before and after your date of birth). once you find his full name we can pull him out easily. do this and I will try help you get the rest of the matter sorted out. remember I am not trying to put him on the spot here I am trying to reconnect you with your brothers and sisters whom you have the right to know about and to connect with. regardless to the issue wither or not your father was married to your mum at the time or not there its not your fault and you should not be hunted by it.

    replay here and I will get notified by email

    cheers

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