Searching for Answers

Saudi men on student visa are continually allowed to abandon the children they father. I, like many, have wondered why this is possible.
I want to share my views and some of the responses that I receive in my quest for answers.

To whom does a woman go to when she had parented a child with a Saudi student and the father neglects all responsibility?
The first thing many do is call the embassy in Washington DC for answers only to find them acting in a perfunctory manner. Saudi Citizens Affairs has not yet returned any of the e-mails sent. The group “Saudis in USA” have offered a mix of insulting words and empty promises from its founding members when contacted. Personal experience has taught me that, when told about this issue, Saudi men and Saudi women react quite differently. The men, in the form of e-mails, tell you how badly they feel, and that they will help in this matter never to be heard from again. Saudi women tell you publicly, that since we weren’t married to the Saudi men we deserve whatever we get, and claim no one will help us.

Why are the children punished in the denial of a proper family medical history and financial support ? What is it going to take to get someone to take notice? Is there a number we must hit before action is taken?
These men think that they can return to Saudi Arabia with no one knowing about he child they have fathered, and with the Saudi Embassy protecting them, they get to do exactly that.

Who out there is listening? Who is helping get the word out while offering good advice?
To my pleasant surprise the most helpful of everyone I have ever contacted happen to be non Saudi Muslim women. Some of these women’s blogs include: Andrea with(Abandoned Children By Their Saudi Father) , Carol with (American Bedu) Tara with (FHWS) Laylah with(Blue Abaya) These women have been respectful and helpful every time I have had communication with them.

I ask you the readers: Do you know of anyone courageous enough to help? Please help me get in contact with someone who will listen. The amount of e-mails/calls already made to clearly the wrong people are becoming redundant in nature.

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71 thoughts on “Searching for Answers

  1. How right you are!!!… I guess most of us have received the exactly same responses and reactions from the Saudi Embassy, Saudi men and women. I have been searching and waiting answers that seems that i never gonna get, so i think what we’ll have to do is continuing exposing the names of this saudi guys, and preventing other women to get involve with this guys. Also I’ve been thinking on the possibility to open a blog in arabic just to post the letters and expose them, so in that way more Saudis will know about this guys, because i’m sure if the family of their future wife know about the abandoned kids they won’t allow this guys to marry any “pure saudi and innocent girl.”

    • Those are good ideas. I think it is also important for you and the other women who have had contact with the embassy post your experiences with these people. Post the e mails and comments they have made promising to help or flat out telling you you got what you deserve. It is not only important to show the Saudi fathers names but also those who continue to help protect them.

      • In my personal experience Dr. Mody don’t want to have nothing written, when i write to her an e-mail she always said ” call me and we can discuss about it.” So unfortunely i can post any of her responses :/

    • I’m almost 52 years old and the Saudis have done nothing but give me a nervous breakdown that made me see aliens. You all have to be absolutely crazy if you think anyone outside the USA gives a damn about us. My daughter found her father’s facebook account and contacted him and he took his picture down. How about that ELS and the way the US government kisses up to the Saudis. It is all about oil. Do yourselves and your children a great big favor by MOVING ON WITH YOUR LIVES. The sooner the better! Our children are beautiful and God has blessed us no matter what those loser fathers think!

    • Julija

      One man from Saudi been working in Scandinavia on the project… We been together . I am pregnant now. After I said about baby… he said that he is married in Saudi! Plus He is know person in the public… I lost contact with him last months. What to do now?

    • Julija

      The part of my story…. I need Your advice!
      One man from Saudi been working in Scandinavia on the project… We been together . I am pregnant now. After I said about baby… he said that he is married in Saudi! Plus He is know person in the public… I lost contact with him last months. What to do now?

  2. Unfortunately, with regard to women seeking help from the Saudi government for this is that the government goes by Islamic law.

    In Islam, an illegitimate child takes his/her mother’s name and only inherits from his/her mother. An illegitimate child does not have rights to financial support from his/her biological father.

    It is another strong warning to women that pre-marital sex will be a huge burden on them should they become pregnant and the man wants to skip out on her.

    Sure, a real man will financially support his biological children, even if they were conceived outside of marriage. But to think the Saudi government will help when they follow Islamic law? That will be a miracle if they do.

    • I understand they go by Islamic law, that is partially why these men continue to get away with this behavior. Somewhere someone must speak out for the children.

      • Rawyah

        I think putting their names out there is the best way, for now, to speak out. If you can make your blog more public and let your words be reached to more Saudis, I think that would be a big step. Do not forget that pictures or evidence works very well to support your claim against them. Otherwise, this could seem as extortion.

      • I understand what you are trying to say but I thought I would explain the difference of extortion and child support.
        Extortion (also called blackmail, shakedown, outwresting, and exaction) is a criminal offence which occurs when a person unlawfully obtains either money, property or services from a person(s), entity, or institution, through coercion. Refraining from doing harm is sometimes euphemistically called protection. Extortion is commonly practiced by organized crime groups. The actual obtainment of money or property is not required to commit the offense. Making a threat of violence which refers to a requirement of a payment of money or property to halt future violence is sufficient to commit the offense. Exaction refers not only to extortion or the unlawful demanding and obtaining of something through force,[1] but additionally, in its formal definition, means the infliction of something such as pain and suffering or making somebody endure something unpleasant.[2]
        Extortion is distinguished from robbery. In armed robbery, the offender takes goods from the victim with use of immediate force. In robbery goods are taken or an attempt is made to take the goods against the will of another—with or without force. A bank robbery or extortion of a bank can be committed by a letter handed by the criminal to the teller. In extortion, the victim is threatened to hand over goods, or else damage to their reputation or other harm or violence against them may occur. Under federal law extortion can be committed with or without the use of force and with or without the use of a weapon. A key difference is that extortion always involves a written or verbal threat whereas robbery can occur without any verbal or written threat.
        The term extortion is often used metaphorically to refer to usury or to price-gouging, though neither is legally considered extortion. It is also often used loosely to refer to everyday situations where one person feels indebted against their will, to another, in order to receive an essential service or avoid legal consequences.
        Neither extortion nor blackmail require a threat of a criminal act, such as violence, merely a threat used to elicit actions, money, or property from the object of the extortion. Such threats include the filing of reports (true or not) of criminal behavior to the police, revelation of damaging facts (such as pictures of the object of the extortion in a compromising position), etc.
        child support (or child maintenance) is an ongoing, periodic payment made by a parent for the financial benefit of a child following the end of a marriage or other relationship. Child maintenance is paid directly or indirectly by an obligor to an obligee for the care and support of children of a relationship that has been terminated, or in some cases never existed. Often the obligor is a non-custodial parent. The obligee is typically a custodial parent, a caregiver, a guardian, or the state.
        Depending on the jurisdiction, a custodial parent may pay child support to a non-custodial parent. Typically one has the same duty to pay child support irrespective of sex, so a mother is required to pay support to a father just as a father must pay a mother. Where there is joint custody, the child is considered to have two custodial parents and no non-custodial parents, and a custodial parent with a higher income (obligor) may be required to pay the other custodial parent (obligee).
        In family law, child support is often arranged as part of a divorce, marital separation, dissolution of marriage, annulment, determination of parentage or dissolution of a civil union and may supplement alimony (spousal support) arrangements.[1][2][3][4][5][6][7]
        The right to child support and the responsibilities of parents to provide such support have been internationally recognized. The 1992 United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, a binding convention signed by every member nation of the United Nations and formally ratified by all but Somalia and the United States,[8] declares that the upbringing and development of children and a standard of living adequate for the children’s development is a common responsibility of both parents and a fundamental human right for children, and asserts that the primary responsibility to provide such for the children rests with their parents.[9] Other United Nations documents and decisions related to child support enforcement include the 1956 New York Convention on the Recovery Abroad of Maintenance created under the auspices of the United Nations, which was ratified by the vast majority of UN member nations.[10]
        In addition, the right to child support, as well as specific implementation and enforcement measures, has been recognized by various other international entities, including the Council of Europe,[11] the European Union[12] and the Hague Conference.[13]
        Within individual countries, examples of legislation pertaining to, and establishing guidelines for, the implementation and collection of child maintenance include the 1975 Family Law Act (Australia), the Child Support Act (United Kingdom)[14] and the Maintenance and Affiliation Act (Fiji)[15] Child support in the United States, 45 C.F.R. 302.56 requires each state to establish and publish a Guideline that is presumptively (but rebuttably) correct, and Review the Guideline, at a minimum, every four (4) years.[16] Child support laws and obligations are known to be recognized in a vast majority of world nations, including the majority of countries in Europe, North America and Australasia, as well as many in Africa, Asia and South America.

        Obviously big differences between extortion and child support. ONLY the dead beat dads in our cases think of it as extortion. Grow up little boys and pay for your children!!!!

    • Luvdubai, When i spoke with the perosn in charge she told me “your child do have rights, you just need to tell me the name of his father and I would call him to ask him to do a DNA test. If the result is possitive we would have to comunicate to his family and he has to pay child support even after he graduate.”

      • To Abandoned Saudi Kids (sorry I don’t know your name-your Twitter account says its been suspended), have your provided the information and have they contacted him to do the DNA test?

      • O no that is Andreablog’s twitter account I will let her know.
        My twitter is @Abandoned_Saudi, and my name is Jenniffer 🙂
        I gave them all the information they asked for it has been six months and nothing has been done.

      • I wonder if nothing has been done yet because they only ‘ask’ the man to do a DNA test and not ‘demand’ it?

      • To my knowledge he has never been contacted. at all on this matter

    • Gabriel Break Al-Qarni ( Abdullah)

      Oh! The Saudi Government follows the Islamic law? So they have Shariah Courts, Maybe they should put these fathers to death for having premarital sex……….or did the Islamic law was written only for women?????????? Why put all the blame on the women??
      Oh! Is okay for the men to have sex but make sure you don’t get her pregnant. I agree with the part, Women BEWARE! Do not get yourself involved with Saudi Men.

      • Rawyah

        The law is for both men and women. But you also need evidence in your case.
        By the way, for unmarried couple who commit fornication, it is 100 whips. For married couple who commit fornication, it is to be stoned to death.
        I feel your pain and your mother’s pain. It was so hard on both of you. As a Saudi woman myself, I think you are doing right to let Saudis more aware about the wrongs their sons commit outside their home, and to force them to do the right thing to their sons and daughters.

      • Mohsen

        Hi Abdullah, I have read your story, I feel so SAD. Unfortunately, Saudi government has nothing to do with the Islamic Law. Islamic Law is just but they implement goes with their advantage. Nowadays, I’m trying to contact some Saudi organizations to find some solutions for the abandoned saudi children.

        I wish you the best,

    • An american muslimah

      I doubt the validity of the child out of wedlock taking the mothers name. That is incorrect. Why don’t we go to The Quran for some insight. Allah says: Call them by (the names) of their fathers: that is juster in the sight of Allah but if ye know not their father’s (names, call them), your Brothers in faith, or your Mawlas. But there is no blame on you if ye make a mistake therein: (what counts is) the intention of your hearts: and Allah is Oft-Returning, Most Merciful. (Chapter Al Azhab (The Confederates) Verse 5)
      I am in total agreement with the fact that that this is wrong of any man and especially a Muslim man to do. But, I also feel some of the information on this site is going overboard in not holding the individuals responsible by blaming Shariah (Islamic law) when in fact it is not a part of the shariah. I also would like to add that I have viewed your posts on the “combination of top blogs written by knowledgeable women” and I will say Americanbedu is very educated in what she is talking about. The other “Save the Women” this person has made many errors and clearly isn’t using intelligence when writing but rather personal feelings. Most especially on a Fatwa given by Shaykh ibn Baz on the issue of marrying a girl overseas. I have researched this myself and it is not true. Actually to the opposite Shaykh Uthaymin who was educated by Baz has a fatwa that clearly and with evidence from the Quran and Sunnah forbids it.
      My prayers and thoughts go out to all of the women who are struggling to pick up the pieces of what these cowardly men have done to them and their children.

    • Sat

      I think there is a misunderstanding in here about Islamic law. Children, not matter legitimate or not, are eligible to same rights.

      Please, try to be fair with your views about Islam and Saudi people. I can see that hundreds of thousands of Saudi people do sympathize with you and ready to offer any kind of help. They do because this is what Islam asks to do so.

      Please, do not hesitate to ask for any kind of help. We are Muslims here to do our best to help.

  3. I’m sorry that I can’t do more to help…everything is in Allah’s hands.

    • You have done a great job in helping. Thank you again 😉

      • I want to help in another way, by posting these Islamic reminders should you ever consider naming and shaming the Saudi father of your child or any other Saudi man on your blog…

        Allah’s Messenger (صلي الله عليه وسلم) said: “He, who relieves a hardship of this Dunya (world) for a believer, Allah will relieve (from him) a hardship of the Day of Resurrection; he who makes easy an indebted person, Allah will make it easy for him in the Dunya and the Hereafter; he who covers a Muslim (meaning his mistakes and shortcomings), Allah will cover him in the Dunya and the Hereafter …” [Muslim]

        The Prophet Muhammad SAWS said: “Whoever conceals the faults of others, Allah shall conceal his faults on the day of Qiyaamah.” (Mishkaat)

        the Prophet said:“Whoever covers up the fault of a Muslim, Allaah will cover up his fault(s) on the Day of Resurrection.” [Al-Bukhaari & Muslim]

        Hukaym ibn Sa’d heard ‘Ali say, “Do not be hasty, spreading and divulging secrets. Ahead of you lies a severe, distressing affliction and events which would take a long time explain namely oppressive conflicts.”

        Ibn ‘Abbas said, “When you want to mention your companion’s faults, remember your own faults.”

        Abdullah Ibn Umar (radiyallahu anhu) related, “The Messenger of Allah (salallahu alaihe wa-sallam) once rose above the podium and then said with a loud voice,”O those who have embraced Islam only with their tongue, while Eemaan has not yet entered their hears, neither harm Muslims, nor mock them, nor try to expose their mistakes, for he who follows(searches for) the errors of his brother, Allah will follow his errors, and he whom Allah follows his errors, He will expose him even if he was in the middle of his home.” [Saheeh al-Jamee] Imam an-Nawawi (rahimahullah) writes, ‘This Hadeeth indicates that following and then exposing people’s mistakes only occurs by the hypocrites and those whose Eemaan is so weak, that it did not yet fill their hearts…”

        Abdullah Ibn Masoud (رضي الله عنه) related, ‘A man came to the Prophet and said: ‘O Messenger of Allah! I have mingled with a woman in the far side of al-Medina, and I fulfilled my desire short of actually having sexual intercourse with her. So, here am I, judge me according to what you decide.’ Umar Ibn al-Khattab (رضي الله عنه) then said: ‘Allah had kept your secret, why did not you keep your secret?’ [Sahih Muslim]

  4. I would advise to be very careful of what anyone may choose to publish publicly, including in Arabic. While in Western society a family may be shamed to action or indignant to hear of a son abandoning a child there may be a different reaction in Eastern society.

    Rather than the Saudi guy being shunned his family and tribe may want to protect him all the more as he’ll be viewed as being “seducted by the evil eye.” He probably would not have difficulty in finding a wife and taking his respected place in society.

    It is a catch-22. The more that is shared of Saudi children left behind the more awareness is out there. On the other hand there will be many from Eastern societies who will believe that such notices simply validate all they believe about Western society and no morals.

    An approach which may help in at least obtaining medical information is to write a formal letter (English and Arabic with appropriate salutations and titles) to the Minister of Health (in Riyadh) and to the Director of Islamic Affairs at the Saudi Embassy in Washington. However I would suggest simply state specifics that you are the mother of a Saudi child and seeking the medical history of the child’s father. I would not make any request for financial assistance. Take satisfaction in that you are communicating with individuals whose positions have them realize the importance of knowing your child’s medical history.

    Good luck.

  5. Gabriel Break Al-Qarni ( Abdullah)

    Also let me add, I am the son of a Saudi father who also abandoned me over 25 years ago.When I was 1 years old, he promised my mother to send financial support to take care of me and send me to college. I am proud to say that my mother is a hard working Woman who raised me well and to fear God! My father is not a man. He will have to answer to God for what he did.

  6. Gabriel Break Al-Qarni ( Abdullah)

    Is okay for a Saudi man to ruin and play with the emotions of the women’s lives in the Western world and then go back to Saudi Arabia to marry a wife and take their place in society as if they ere innocent!!!! I am very sure that many women from the Western world were deceived who were also virgins and had their children.

  7. Gabriel Break Al-.Qarni ( Abdullah), I am pretty sure that statement wasn’t said as if American Bedu agrees with it.

  8. Islam-qa has conflicting information in multiple fatwas that deal with illegitimate children.

    I just found a fatwa that says that there are scholars who say the child can take the father’s name and inherit from him (some say only if the hadd punishment has first been carried out on the father for the crime of zina)

    But the fatwas go on to say that the majority of the scholars have the view that the child does not take the father’s name and that this is the most correct view.

    The full fatwas are long so I will just post the links:

    http://islam-qa.com/en/ref/33591/illegitimate%20child

  9. Gabriel Break Al-Qarni ( Abdullah)

    Hi, Can you please delete my previous comments for I was very angry that my father abandoned me.
    Thank you.

    Can someone help me find my father?

    • Hi Gabriel Thank you so much for your comments. I agree with you on so many of your points and I feel your anger and frustration. My dad abandon me and my mom at a young age and to this day it pisses me off. I did a post on it called Meet my deadbeat dad if your interested.

      If you would like I can delete your comments but they are great comments that show the same frustration that the rest of us are experiencing.

      You can contact me at saudi_children_left_behind@hotmail.com and we can talk about helping you find your father.

  10. Gabriel, I don’t think you should have your comments deleted either. It goes to show the anger and resentment that a person grows up with regarding being abandoned by a parent.

    I remember one day I was at a shoe store at a mall one day and there were a group of Arab guys in there too. One young guy that worked there (he was probably like 17 years old) asked if they could help him find his father who abandoned him–and told them his father is from UAE.

    The Arab guys told him that they are from Oman and that they were sorry that they would not be able to help him.

    I felt so bad for the young guy… to have to grow up wondering why his father wants nothing to do with him.

  11. As some people have already answered, the reactions you get are basically stemming from religious and their cultural reasons. First of all, illegitimate children are not tied to the father, they take their mother’s name and only inheret from her side of the family. So Islamically, you nor your child have any rights when it comes to child support etc. As for getting blamed, well that is both a religious and a cultural reason behind it. Firts of all, from a religious perspecitve, what you did was a sin (the same for the father, but as in most chauvanistic cultures the man’s partaking is often “over-looked”) and people have to take responsebility for the choices they make. The consequences from bearing an illegitimate child is just one more deterrant reason to keep away for illicit realtionships. As for the culturar reasons, well – however unislamic and morally detestable it is – in most cultures (from past until now, unfortunately) women are always the ones who get blamed. As most affected women are “foreigners”, then “of course” they are going to side with their “Saudi brother and son”. They blame the woman, she was the one who “seduced” him and he is only a poor victim. Since most Saudi guys who get an un-married woman pregnant are not religious AT ALL (even thoug they claim to be *rolling eyes*). And actually I strongly believe that the intention from the get go was NEVER to start a family or see any kind of a future with their “un-married western women”. It was only “play time” and then they would return to the kingdom to marry a “good Saudi woman” who would bear them many children and be good wives and mothers 🙂 It’s disgusting, I know….*throws up a little bit*.
    We have to inform women more so that they are not tricked into thinking that things go the same way as in the West, ie. Dating (and everything that comes with that) several years and then marriage and childred. If these men were actually interested in marriage and children, they wouldn’t be “dating”. It’s a sad fact. I pray for all of you who have been tricked by these a-holes, and that the a-holes in question eventually get what they deserve.

    • I hope they can be exposed for the men they are. I don’t understand how they can have these children and return home to marry a virgin wife. 😦

      • Well, it´s the whole mentality that´s wrong. Personally, I think that the fact that Islamic law does not allow the illegitimate child to be tied to the father is a punishment for the father as well. I mean, what sane man would be OK with his OFFSPRING flesh and blood not to be part of him? Instead, since these people are not religious at all and have no religious moral what so ever, this “punishment” has become something they see as a relief. Just like with all those other deadbeat dads who abandon their children, Saudi or not. But then, I´m no expert. =/

      • It is shameful when they use Islam as an excuse to completely abandon the child. Here is a perfect example. This young man just posted to an Islamic answers blog. I do not think he is getting the advice he wanted. Here is the link.

        http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/pregnant-know-child-islam/

  12. Qamar

    I’m an expat living and working in Saudi Arabia for 3 years now. Based on my observation and experience of living here, I’m afraid to tell you that it’s impossible for you to be with or have communication (the least) with this Saudi guy who fathered your child.
    My advice to you is to let go of him, never expect that he will come back nor support your kid.
    First and foremost you met the wrong man. Young Saudi students studying in the US is a big NO NO to have relationship with especially to non-Muslim girls. Here in KSA, men and women are segregated so that when men go out of the kingdom they are overwhelmed with the new society, they feel like being unleashed.
    So my first advice is never ever have a relationship with them.

    I have a sister who had a relationship with an Arab (non-Saudi) they were together for a month, she ended up crying because that man cheated her. Fast forward, my sister is now happily married to non-Arab man.

    Not all Arabs or Saudis are like your ex-boyfriend, but majority of them.

    Don’t believe them eventhough they tell you, they love you, blah blah, once they finish their studies, they will return back to their homeland and they will get married that was arranged for by their parents.
    Their parents prefer Arab MUSLIM women.

    It’s the culture, of all the nationalities in the world, Arab culture is very distinct.

    So my advice is never ever fall in love or believe their sweet words especially Saudi students. Never ever.

  13. Rawyah

    Here is a suggestion: How about a youtube channel for these children? The mother and her child can make a clip and upload it, subtitles would help if possible, and make it public. The mother can give the name of the child’s father, history of their relationship, show some photos or maybe emails or medical reports that has the man’s name on it.
    Youtube clip spread so fast and would cause a strong effect in Saudi. I saw a clip watched and discussed a lot by the people about a Filipino guy abandoned by his Saudi father, came to work in Saudi Arabia and became a muslim. Many people were so angry at the father and his family, and actually were on the side of the Filipino man.

    p.s. I am a Saudi girl..

  14. Fawad

    This is so disturbing at so many levels. I don’t understand how these men can be so irresponsible, muslim or not.

    Gabriel I know you want to meet your father, its only natural but ask yourself is it even worth it? I encourage you to speak out but I don’t think your father deserves you. You are too good for him.

    • You really are too good for him. But you are young and you have to go through this rotten journey. There will come a time when it may be too much. My daughter had to be committed to a mental ward so she wouldn’t commit suicide because her “father” took his picture down off Facebook once she contacted him. And me, her mother before her, had a nervous breakdown after contact with the Saudis years ago. I did eventually get something from the US government. It is called SSI for schizophrenia. Do you want to end up like us? Well, I must tell you the whole truth. It made us stronger! What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger! Tonight we brought the New Year in with laughter. I notice anything I type about MY religion is taken down. Well mine has brought me happiness.

  15. Mary grace imbag

    I just searched this site cuz now I’m having the same problem. Got pregnant by a Saudi guy and left and het cut all means of communications to me. I gave birth to our child last June 03 this year. Now I’m trying to seek help to embassy of Saudi Arabia here in Philippines to track down the father of my child to let him know that he should also share responsibility to our child and pay child support.

    • I am sorry it has taken me so long to reply to you. I have had computer problems 😦
      First off congratulations on the birth of your baby, I hope you are doing well despite the fact the father of your child has abandon the two of you.

      Would you be willing to share your story on the blog? We have had some luck with getting the fathers to contact the mothers of the children after we post the story’s on here. I would love to communicate with you further on this matter you can e mail me at saudi_children_left_behind@hotmail.com

      Please know you are not alone!!!

    • My child is over 30. I wish I had never tried to contact the Saudi Educational Mission or the Saudi Embassy or ELS or any friends, relatives etc. My daughter found her father on Facebook and he took his picture down. I don’t really want him to have any contact with her or her sons. “That ship has sailed.” Please take my advice. There should be a convention of abandoned Saudi/American children. Maybe if we can’t help ourselves, we can help change American policy: like end immigration for good.

  16. Carol Anne

    A friend of mine has a 25 year old son by a Saudi and is not seeking financial support just a relationship with his father. Any suggestions on how to locate? He’s from Jeddah.

  17. I would like to note that in Saudi culture people are against marrying non-Saudis and the government itself makes it hard for a Saudi to bring his non-Saudi wife into the country. I am not justifying their actions by these excuses, but showing you the full picture. I actually know many Saudis that married US wives and are living happily with them in KSA, but they are a minority. I think seeking a relationship legally with the father is not worth it unless the father is interested. Corruption makes it hard to finish things legally in Saudi. I think the best way is use social networks to raise awareness of the issue. Start a facebook page, youtube channel and twitter feed to spread the word. Saudi these days is flooded with social media. It might be a good idea to have Arabic content so it can reach a bigger audience. Youtube and twitter seem to be more dominant compared to facebook. I can help you out by sharing your tweets, videos, or facebook page.

  18. Joza

    Hi, I know someone that might be able to help. He’s a saudi writer and his name is Najeeb AlZamil, he’s active on twitter @NajeebZamil and he founded the ‘Back to The Roots Association’ to help with cases where saudi fathers abandoned their children. I couldnt find an official site for the association, im not sure if its official even, but he’s done some work on it and have published some articles in saudi newspapers talking about this issue. I really hope he can help he seems like a really nice person.
    I wish you all the best.

  19. Abdulrahman

    Being Saudi who lived in the Us for seven years, I feel sorry to hear such shamefull acts by what are so called muslims. I suggest contacting the following enttity:
    Saudi Orgnization for Saudi Families Abroad (Awasser)
    P. O Box 92560
    Riyadh 11623
    Phone: 920004949
    Fax: 920005959البريد الإلكتروني
    International Fax: 0096612402349
    e-mail: info@awasser.org.sa
    Facebook : Awasser-1422@Facebook.com
    Twitter : Awasser-1422@twitter.com

    This orgnization is orgnized to help the kids of Saudi fathers left behind such as the cases posted in this site. I beleive their mission as stated in their web is to take care of the childern and to link the sons to their biological fathers and families. Their site is in Arabic and their english site is still under construction. Hope this will help you resolve the problems these ladies are facing hoping them and their children the best.

  20. Sat

    I am not quit sure what these people are speaking about!! Children have the same rights not matter legitimate or not. I will repeat ” Same rights”

  21. Baseer

    To those who are saying the children are the responsibility of the mother is not true.

    As per what I know of the religion. The man is responsible for this child, it is the fathers child whether legitimate or not.

    Please also lookup punishment for Zina.

    • Baser, please do post the Islamic rulings that you have found. I have researched this topic and have not found any evidence that a man is organically responsible for am illegitimate child.

      • Baseer

        this ruling in the link is what i was refering to. however please keep in mind islamic rulings are only applicable in the land where the rule of law is sharia. in the case of North America you have to follow the rule of the land of North America so islamic rule is not applicable at all. moreover you are asking a saudi to follow saudi law in the US. can you please let me know the ruling of illegitimate children in the US also for the fathers that have abandoned them?
        http://lamppostproductions.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/WALAD_ZINA.pdf

      • A

        If he helped to create the life in the,eyes of Allah he is responsible. These man made laws you speak of dont apply…

  22. I have a daughter with a Qatari man who left and my sister’s father is Kuwaiti and left her back in the 80’s. I think we should all get together and write a book of short stories about our children. IF we could gather enough women and possibly find a publisher we can really get our stories out there. I’ve got my story as well as my sister’s story. There are men from all of the GCC who have left children behind and it would make a great reading. I’m living in Kuwait and married to a Kuwaiti man who takes car of my 3 kids from before as well as our 2 kids, if you need anything let me know as I have a lot of experience with this subject.

  23. I am an American woman of mainly Irish-American ancestry. My daughter is half-Saudi and looks totally Arabian. If asked she will simply reply “Middle-Eastern.” She is married to a wonderful black man who has a great job and horses. My 3 grandsons are all handsome. One loves to work and works in a restaurant. One plays sports very well. And the little one has been in the rodeo. As far as I am concerned they are all Irish. My daughter’s father was supposed to go to court in Illinois. We lived in NC. He may have owned some property in Michigan. He can put it where the sun doesn’t shine. He may have been arrested for drunk driving in Utah. My advice to you ladies is to only look straight ahead. You don’t even know if they are giving you their real names. I saw his driver’s license. I know what his name is supposed to be. Honestly my daughter and I have lived through some very rough times. But we have become strong women. Yes, I tried contacting the Saudi Educational Mission and Embassy and all it did is stress me out. They might as well be from another planet. All they are ever going to do is try to hurt you or your children. I am not even going to mention his name because I want him to stay away from MY FAMILY. I am the Matriarch of this unique family. We are Baptists and he should have thought about his religion a long time ago. My daughter had a nervous breakdown and it was OUR FAMILY who made sure she could get well. It was me and her husband and her mother-in-law and her great-aunts on her mother’s side who saw her through it. He wasn’t there when I was pushing her in her stroller in Charlotte to the day care and to the laundry mat. He wasn’t there when she was born. All her life she had to feel bad that her father never had anything to do with her. I had pictures of him on a soccer field in Tampa and in our constant moves I lost them. She just wanted a picture of her father. I found him on facebook and he wouldn’t even give her a picture. What don’t you ladies understand about the words “too late.” Don’t beg those hateful people for anything. You don’t want to know what we have been through and I certainly will never shed a tear over him or them. And the ELS Language Center is even worse. If it were up to me I would shut them down. They were there to cover his tracks. It didn’t matter that an American child had to suffer because of her cheap father. If they were not cheap they would support their children. And they want you to feel like a whore. All American women are whores to them and you must understand one of the Saudi princesses wrote a book that exposed them for the cruelty that have exhibited toward little girls in Egypt. I don’t want a man like that anywhere near MY FAMILY. Call me hateful, I call it even.

  24. You are so interesting! I don’t believe I’ve truly read something like
    this before. So wonderful to find somebody with some original thoughts
    on this issue. Seriously.. thanks for starting this up.
    This website is one thing that is needed on the internet, someone with a bit of originality!

  25. Ashley

    I am new to all this .. I was “dating” a Saudi guy and thought I was all in love. He treated me better then anyone. Even his brother told me I was like a sister to him. He wanted me to convert to Islam because he said he has to marry a Muslim girl. I asked him questions about his culture even asked if he had an arranged married he said no. I later found out I was pregnant to much of my disbelief.. I didn’t think I could even get pregnant. He completely turned on me. Threatened to kill himself if I didn’t have an abortion tried to get me to take pills to end the pregnancy. I lied and told him I miscarried the child. I didn’t know what else to do plus he was transferring to another college in a different state. He promised to still see me and visit but hasn’t. Hus brother seems very cold to me now too. I have read many things about how their government won’t help so I feel it is no use to tell him he has a child. Plus he tried yo end the relationship by confessing that his mom has to pick his wife and even if I convert the girl has to be from his family. I was devastated because I had considered giving the child up for adoption to a friend if he wanted to continue to see me.

    • Dawn

      Wow. Your story sounds very familiar to me because many of the things you said is exactly what happened to me. I was dating a Saudi guy as well and he treated me better than any other man ever has. We were so happy and in love. After over 2 years of dating, we were in the process of finding someone to help me convert to Islam when I found out I was pregnant. I wasn’t supposed to be able to have children. I was shocked, and needless to say, he was too. He also threatened to kill himself and me if I didn’t have an abortion. I eventually told him I did have one just to make the threats stop, even though I had never even considered having an abortion. The next thing I knew, he had packed up his stuff and disappeared. I seriously considered trying adoption, but I couldn’t go through with it. I am so glad I didn’t. I had my son in July 2012, and he is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. His big brown eyes light up any room, and his smile and his laugh will make the saddest person in the world smile too. My son is absolutely beautiful and is a true joy to be around, but his father is ashamed of him. He is so fearful his family will find out he has a son. I was able to contact some of his friends who were able to give me some information about him. He transferred to another school that is over 10 hours away from us. He has a new girlfriend, and they are now living together. He is living his new life and is pretending that we don’t even exist. I quit school in order to be with my son. My family is very upset with me, and they don’t want much to do with me or my son either. My life has been turned upside down. I have tried to enroll back into school, but I can’t because I have no financial aide left. I only had 2 more semesters to complete. Without a degree, it’s hard to find a decent job in my very small town. I do not know what to do. All of my emails to him are being ignored. I found his girlfriend’s Facebook account. She has tons of pictures posted of them together, I have been tempted to warn her about him, but I don’t know if that would help the situation or just make it worse. I am struggling to make ends meet. I have been taking my son with me to clean houses in order to have some money. I had a minimum wage job; however, after only paying daycare every week i had less than $20 left over which was enough to buy diapers with, but not much else. I was able to get an apartment based on my income. I am on welfare, and I have people in my own family who love to judge me every single day. They have no idea what i am going through, nor do they stop judging long enough to even care. I have no idea where to go from here. I don’t want to hurt him or his girlfriend. She is innocent just like my son is in all of this. I do feel sorry for her though, because I already know that one day he is going to hurt her like he hurt me, and there is nothing I can do to stop it. I feel that I would sound like a crazy ex-girlfriend seeking revenge if I tried to contact her and warn her. I also am afraid that if I do interfere with his relationship and his studies, he will come after my son and hurt one or both of us. I honestly do not know what to do. I sit in my apartment and cry every day when my son is sleeping because I am so scared for us and our future. I honestly do not know what to do.

  26. I rarely comment, however i did some searching
    and wound up here Searching for Answers | Saudi Children Left Behind.
    And I actually do have a couple of questions for you if it’s allright.

    Could it be only me or does it look as if
    like some of these comments appear as if they are coming from brain dead visitors?

    😛 And, if you are posting on other sites, I’d like to keep up with anything fresh
    you have to post. Would you list of every one of your social pages like your Facebook page, twitter feed,
    or linkedin profile?

  27. I would be willing to help in anyway. something needs to change. my email protea884@gmail.com

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